another moral hangover. fuck.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
