like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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