ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
