I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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