I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
