i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
