i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
