Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
