the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
