when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
