Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
