I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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