Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
