Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
