I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
