No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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