is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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