Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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