just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that