Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it