Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Drake has all the answers