we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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