We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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