Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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