DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
