i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
