My Higher Power is John Stamos
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
