is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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