I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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