he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
