i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
