I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize