dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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