Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
