god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
