i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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