May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
