Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
