You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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