so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
