And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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