This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
