one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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