Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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