Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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