I'm really into asian looking animals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
