2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just gift wrapped bread.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
