how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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