My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
