i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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