yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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