i was born a porn star she said
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
