I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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