he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
