Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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