do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Panties = found
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
