so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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