I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
