So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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