i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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