I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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