Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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