you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
