What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
