what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
