We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
