God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
